


Heaven Can't Help Me Now

by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson), Power-Bottom-Barba (Cap_Against_The_Clap)



Series: This Is Getting Good Now [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Sequel, Sex, Smut, These assholes are at it again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23954422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaXbenson/pseuds/barbaXcarisi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cap_Against_The_Clap/pseuds/Power-Bottom-Barba
Summary: Sonny dipped his head and kissed Barba’s neck, forcing himself to pull his hands away from the other man’s skin.  A temporary loss, but he was goal-oriented, and started to undo the buttons of Rafael’s shirt.  Colorful, eye-catching, perfectly Barba.  Sonny should have known it was him the first moment he saw him down the street, beard or no beard.He liked the beard.He lifted his chin and let his cheek rub up against Barba’s as he kissed up to his ear, loving the feeling of the beard against his face.  The scent of Rafael’s expensive-smelling cologne transported him to all the long nights spent in his office pouring over details of their cases or arguing about precedent. He wondered how he ever let all those nights pass without kissing him.  Barba had said it wasn’t as though they could have done anything about it, back then.  If Sonny had known that Rafael had been attracted to him as well, he damn well would have put that to the test.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: This Is Getting Good Now [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726879
Comments: 6
Kudos: 124





	Heaven Can't Help Me Now

**Author's Note:**

> I felt bad writing the downer that is Through The Dark, so I decided to team up with PBB to give you all some good old fashioned smut. This is a follow up to A Familiar Sound, but you don't really need to read it first (though I wouldn't be mad if you did :) ). I hope you enjoy! -BXC
> 
> It was dirtier but thankfully at least BXC has a sense of decency. -PBB

They decided to skip the drink. 

In the cab Rafael had sat close, running his fingers up and down Sonny’s thigh, but nothing more than that, and it had been complete torture. After finally getting his lips on him, it was all Sonny wanted to do.

And it was what he did as soon as they were in Rafael’s apartment, pressing him up against his door even as it closed. It had been hard enough to wait the length of the cab ride, hell, to wait all the years he had daydreamed about getting his hands on Rafael Barba. He simply wasn’t able to wait a second longer.

He could hardly believe that they had gotten here, that this was really happening, but he was hardly about to question his good luck now.

Rafael’s mouth was open to his, and Sonny licked into it greedily. In all his errant fantasies, he had imagined that the older man’s kisses would be somehow adversarial, a continuation of the banter and bickering that had defined their relationship. But now, Rafael’s hands splayed across Sonny’s back, pulling him closer even as he tilted his chin up and allowed himself to be kissed. 

The drinks they had at the restaurant had nothing on the intoxicating power of that kiss.

He needed to feel Rafael’s body, the solid shape of him, to learn by touch everything his eyes had memorized years ago. His hands were under his blazer, sliding up along his sides, around to his back. Sonny could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt and moaned into his mouth. Fingers slipped low under his waistband in the back, and he could feel the places where the shirt was wrinkled from being tucked in. Hidden, messy, something the world would never see. Something Sonny had never been able to see before, let alone feel. It was an absurd thing to be turned on by, he knew that, but it didn’t stop him from rocking his hips forward against the other man all the same. 

They had barely started, and Sonny was already so hard it hurt.

Barba titled his head and scraped Sonny’s lower lip with his teeth, and Sonny’s brain short-circuited. 

He tugged Rafael’s shirt free of his jeans and slid his hands up over the smooth skin of his back, groaning into his mouth as he did so. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, the word unbidden. “You’re so sexy.”

Barba smirked, because of course he did, and that was sexy too.

Sonny dipped his head and kissed Barba’s neck, forcing himself to pull his hands away from the other man’s skin. A temporary loss, but he was goal-oriented, and started to undo the buttons of Rafael’s shirt. Colorful, eye-catching, perfectly Barba. Sonny should have known it was him the first moment he saw him down the street, beard or no beard. 

He liked the beard.

He lifted his chin and let his cheek rub up against Barba’s as he kissed up to his ear, loving the feeling of the beard against his face. The scent of Rafael’s expensive-smelling cologne transported him to all the long nights spent in his office pouring over details of their cases or arguing about precedent. He wondered how he ever let all those nights pass without kissing him. Barba had said it wasn’t as though they could have done anything about it, back then. If Sonny had known that Rafael had been attracted to him as well, he damn well would have put that to the test.

Not that there was any point in dwelling on the past; not when the present was so good.

Rafael’s shirt was open now, and Sonny skimmed his fingertips down through the soft hair on his chest, over his stomach, until he caught them against the waistband of his jeans. 

“I want to touch you so bad,” he murmured against Barba’s ear, waiting for the permission, even as his fingers itched to dip lower.

“Not here,” Barba said, and there was a breathlessness in his voice that Sonny had never heard before. It was enough to make his head spin. “We’re finally doing this, I don’t want to rush it against my front door.”

Sonny was so caught on the word ‘finally’, the idea that Barba had wanted this too, that it took his brain a beat to catch up with the rest of what he had said. “Yeah,” he said, and pulled back just a bit, just enough to look at the other man and hopefully ask, “Bedroom?”

Barba motioned to the right with his chin, and Sonny glanced back. Both doors were closed; not knowing which was the bathroom and which was Barba’s bedroom--’Barba’s bedroom’ being another idea that gave him a wave of cognitive dissonance--he reluctantly pulled back from the other man to let him lead the way. He didn’t waste the chance to sweep his eyes over Rafael, drinking in the sight of his open shirt, his toned chest and soft middle. Sonny wanted to work his mouth over every inch of exposed skin.

Rafael shrugged out of his blazer and hung it on a coat rack, without looking. Sonny didn’t give a second thought to his own clothing, too eager to be out of it, and let his suit coat drop to the floor as he followed Barba into the apartment. They had to travel all of eight feet to the bedroom, but Sonny managed to strip off his tie and vest by the time they got there. 

Barba turned on the light, but with a gun to his head, Sonny couldn’t have said what the room looked like. All he could see was Rafael, undoing the fly of dark jeans that probably cost more than Sonny’s entire suit. They fit him well and didn’t just fall away; Sonny stared as Barba pushed them down his hips and thighs and stepped out of them, his shirt falling to the floor close behind. 

Standing there in nothing but rose-colored socks and dark red boxer briefs that did nothing but showcase the erection that strained against them, Rafael Barba was a god-damned wet dream come to life.

“Are you just here to watch?” he asked, smirking again. He sat back on his bed, knees spread wider than they had any reason to be, and then he palmed himself over his underwear.

That was enough to snap Sonny out of his stupor. He wanted to be the one doing that, touching him, feeling the heft and weight and heat of him in his hands. He didn’t bother to unbutton his shirt, only undoing as many as were needed to pull it off over his head, taking his undershirt with it. He took a little more time with his slacks, because he knew Barba was watching, hooking his thumbs in his waistband and tugging it down low, tensing his stomach to make his abs stand out as much as he could. 

He could tell Barba liked it by the noise he made, the way he gripped himself a little harder.    
  
“Come here,” Rafael beckoned, and Sonny moved to stand in front of him. Rafael’s hands covered his, and Sonny let go, letting Rafael strip him out of his pants and briefs with an agonizing slowness.

“There you are,” Rafael murmured, almost to himself, and Sonny felt himself flush from cheeks to sternum at the way Rafael was looking at him. Like Sonny’s body was something he’d been searching for and finally found. 

Sonny’s heart hammered as Rafael touched him, long fingers tracing the lines of his body, knuckles brushing along his sides, the pad of his thumb skimming over one nipple and making him groan. Fingernails scratched lightly down his hips, strong hands squeezing high on his thighs. And then higher, and higher. Barba was so close now that Sonny could feel warm breath ghost over his dick, and he had to bite his lip to keep from moaning out loud.

“Is this for me?” Barba asked, his voice soft, and just teasing enough that Sonny’s blush spread.   
  
“You know it is,” he answered, shocked by how wrecked he sounded already.

But then Barba touched him - with his fingers, with his lips, with his tongue - and Sonny lost the capacity to think about anything.

Barba was true to his word; he didn’t rush. He teased, he licked, he sucked. Christ, he sucked so well. His tongue swirled around the head of his dick while his fingers explored, cupping and tugging gently on his balls, pressing against his perineum, gripping his ass. Barba’s hands being otherwise occupied, he didn’t hold Sonny’s cock, but captured it again with his lips each time he pulled back. Sonny was transfixed, groaning every time he watched himself pass in and out of Rafael’s lips. 

Rafael opened his eyes and met Sonny’s, staying fixed to them as he finally bobbed his head low. Sonny felt his dick hit the back of his throat, and then further, and Rafael’s nose was buried in coarse curls, his beard scraping at Sonny’s thighs. He gagged a little but pushed through it, which alone was almost enough to make Sonny come, even if Barba hadn’t been staring at him with such intensity, green eyes dark under spiky lashes.

Until now Sonny had kept his hands gentle, respectful, light on Rafael’s shoulders, soft against his neck, but it was too much. He tangled his fingers in his hair, not pushing or pulling, but gripping as firmly as he dared. He couldn’t help it, not with the way Barba’s throat contracted around him.   


“Fuck,” he gasped, as Barba pulled back, licking and sucking hard at the crown for just a moment before swallowing him down again. “Jesus! Barba--Rafael, god, oh my god!”

Barba palmed his ass, fingertips spreading him, teasing and pressing at his asshole. When he bobbed his head again to breathe, Sonny could see where saliva and precome made his beard glisten.    
  
“Fuck, stop, wait, Barba, you gotta stop.” Sonny didn’t want him to stop, in fact, Sonny wanted more of absolutely everything he was doing. It was good, too good, and he wouldn’t be able to take much more of it. “You’re gonna make me come.”

“Mm, that’s the idea,” Rafael said, teasingly, though his voice was rough from the misuse of his throat. His fingertips still rolled in a firm circle at his asshole, sending shivers of pleasure through him that forced him to grip his own dick at the root.

“I don’t want to come yet,” he panted, the hand he wasn’t using to hold himself touching Barba’s face, fingers grazing the damp curl of his beard, thumb brushing the swell of his lower lip. Apparently determined to make Sonny’s brain explode, Rafael at once captured Sonny’s thumb in his lips and sucked it into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks around it.

Sonny groaned. “You’re gonna kill me,” he breathed, and Barba let go of his thumb, smirking up at him. Of course he was proud of himself. Cocky bastard. Sonny loved it.

“It’s like you said. We’re finally doing this,” he felt bold saying it, but Barba looked pleased to have his words echoed back to him. “We’re finally doing this, and I didn’t wait all this time to not fuck you. God, I really, really want to fuck you.” Once the words were out of his mouth, Barba’s fingers pressing against him gave him a sudden flutter of hesitation. “Or, you can fuck me, I’d be fine with that too, I can be versatile.” 

Rafael was scooting back on the bed before Sonny finished stammering out his nervous clarification. He got his boxer briefs off in a smooth motion as he went, and let his knees fall open obscenely. If Sonny hadn’t been so captivated by the sight, he would have chided himself for not trusting his instincts. 

“How do you want to fuck me?” Barba asked, one hand resting on the inside of his thigh. “Like this? Or do you want me to turn over?” He drew one knee up a little. 

“Yes,” Sonny breathed, before it caught up to him that it had been an either-or question. Both options made him throb and twitch in his own hand. The idea of Barba on his hands and knees for him, bending low while Sonny fucked him, it made his head spin. But he wanted to look at him, too. To see his face while he was inside him, to kiss him, to rear back and watch him when he came. And making a choice at all was even harder when Barba pulled his knee to his chest and began to play with his own asshole.

“Fuck. That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” he groaned, honestly, and Rafael pushed a finger into himself, breathing out a soft moan as he did.   
  
“Well?” he asked, his voice a little more strained now as he shallowly dragged one finger in and out of himself. 

“Like that,” Sonny said, and climbed into the bed. He knelt between Barba’s spread legs and touched his thigh, taking him behind the knee and holding his leg a little higher. “Like this.” His eyes flicked between Rafael’s face and where he was touching himself. He was transfixed. “You have lube?” 

“No, I’m an active gay man with no lube in my house. I just wing it.”

Sonny blinked, finally looking at Barba's face again, and only then did the deadpan sarcasm register. The bark of his own laughter surprised him.

“Yeah, yeah.” Sonny nodded toward the nightstand. “In there?” 

“Second drawer.”

Sonny rummaged briefly in the unfamiliar drawer, shuffling a tangled pair of headphones, pieces of a manicure set that seemed to have lost their case, and a pair of reading glasses before finding the bottle of lube under a playbill. The box of condoms was easier to find.   
  
“Not so active that this stuff is on top, huh?”   
  
“I’m also forty-nine, and I’ve been working in politics the last six months.”

“Not a lot of action in Iowa, then?”   
  
“As though I would let some closeted farmer fuck me.”

Sonny laughed, even more when he saw the snobbish curl of Barba’s lip.

“Yeah, alright,” he grinned down at him as he knelt again between his legs. “How about a civil servant from Staten Island?”

“You live in Manhattan now, and only since you’re already here.” Rafael was smiling again, and he hooked his hands behind his knees, drawing them up again. “That is, if you were ever planning to get on with it.”

“Yeah, yeah. So bossy.” It wasn’t surprising at all, given that he was Barba, and if Sonny was being honest he kind of liked it. He definitely didn’t mind being told what to do in the bedroom. 

He flipped open the lid of the bottle of lube and poured some on the tips of his two fingers, rubbing them both with his thumb. Then, once again using his left hand to push Barba’s knee up, he ran his thumb lightly between the other man’s cheeks a couple of times. 

“God dammit, Carisi,” Rafael ground out, lifting his hips off the bed, trying to get more from him. 

Deciding not to play around anymore—mostly out of fear that Barba would get fed up and kick him out—he ran his thumb over the entrance to Rafael’s hole, covering it in slick before working the pad of his thumb inside. Barba’s breath caught and Sonny’s dick twitched. If he was getting this worked up over just his thumb, he couldn’t wait to see what was coming. 

Rafael was already a bit open and pliant from touching himself and Sonny was soon able to be able to slip in one finger and then another, working his wrist to get him fully prepped. When he was able to add a third finger, he curled them just so, brushing against Barba’s prostate, causing his hips to jerk again. 

“C’mon, I’m ready,” Barba huffed, but it ended on a whine when Sonny curled his fingers again. 

He could do this all day. Watching Rafael squirm under his touch and listening to the sounds he made, but Sonny didn’t have infinite patience. He wanted his cock buried in the tight heat that his fingers were experiencing. 

Hearing Rafael Barba whimper at the emptiness when Sonny removed his fingers was enough to make him come right there, but he managed, again, to keep his orgasm at bay. Instead, he focused on rolling on the condom and covering himself in lube. 

Finally, up on his knees, he teased at Rafael’s entrance with the tip of his cock. “You ready?”

“Yes. Fuck me, Carisi.” He hadn’t even fully gotten the words out when Sonny began a long, slow slide inside him. 

Sonny thought he was going to die right there. Barba was so tight around him; he’d never felt anything so good. When he was fully seated he looked down at Rafael, beautiful with his furrowed brow, his flushed face, lips parted to draw labored breaths. Only when he gave a small nod did Sonny begin to move. 

He kept it fairly slow at first, wanting to enjoy the feel of Rafael, to let Rafael feel him, and knowing that it was a miracle he hadn’t come already; he didn’t want to push his luck. After a few thrusts, he leaned over, running his hands up Rafael’s torso, using his fingers to circle and lightly pinch his nipples before resting them on either side of his head. 

Rafael looked up at him, licking his lips and suddenly Sonny had to have them. He nipped at them with his teeth and then used his tongue to work them open. Not that it took much work. Rafael’s mouth was like the rest of him at the moment, soft, pliant, open to Sonny in all ways. 

Sonny swallowed down the breathless cries that Rafael let out with each thrust of his hips, loving the feel of Barba’s nonsensical murmurs as well as hearing them. Enjoying the feel of Rafael’s hands roaming his back and hips, the way his blunt nails scraped at his skin and his fingertips gripped tight, sometimes hard enough that Sonny hoped there’d be bruises when this was all said and done. He’d need proof that this wasn’t all just a fantasy. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked, soft and low when he’d needed a breath, rubbing his cheek against Rafael’s beard, nipping at his earlobe. 

“Not—not yet,” Rafael managed, and then, “Harder.” 

It was another order that Sonny wasn’t in a position to disobey. He fell back so that he was once again resting on his knees, his hands on Barba’s hips, lifting him slightly so he could get better leverage. “Yeah? Like that?” 

“Yes. Fuck. Yes.” 

Sonny continued to hold onto Barba, thinking he might leave some bruises of his own, increasing his speed with each roll of his hips. Soon he was pounding the other man so hard he was worried he would hurt him, but Rafael only uttered continuous words of encouragement around whimpers and whines. Rafael said don’t stop, so Sonny didn’t.

He was close, oh so close, but he wanted Rafael to come first. Needed to see the pleasure of orgasm spread across his face before Sonny was lost in the haze of his own. 

Somehow, miraculously, Barba’s clenched eyes opened and they found Sonny’s. “Touch me. Sonny, please.” 

Fuck. Sonny bit down on his lip willing himself to hold out just a little bit longer. He reached down, gripping Rafael’s dripping cock in his hand. Not bothering to be gentle, he jerked Barba as roughly as he was fucking him. 

“Yes, yes, yes…” Barba nearly chanted, his hips jerking up off of the bed. 

“That’s right. Come on, baby. Give it to me.” He was the one giving the orders this time and Rafael obeyed. Crying out one final time, his dick grew taut in Sonny’s hand and then he was spilling come through Sonny’s fingers to drip and pool on his own stomach. 

It was the clench of Rafael’s orgasm that finally did him in, and Sonny came too, a sound coming from his throat that even he didn’t recognize. He stayed a moment longer than he probably should have, still rocking his hips slightly, chasing something that had come and gone. He wanted to savor the feeling of being inside Barba. He didn’t know if he’d ever get to do this again and he was going to remember it. 

But finally his thighs shook, exhausted, and he had no choice but to slip out of Rafael and fall to the bed next to him. The only noise in the room was each of them fighting to catch their breath. 

It was when the haze of orgasm finally started to clear from his brain that the full weight of what had just happened settled on Sonny. It had been incredible—beyond incredible— and he would never say otherwise, but now what? It had been awhile since he’d had to extricate himself after going home with someone from a bar and he was trying to remember proper protocol. 

Rafael remained silent as well, so maybe he was trying to figure out a way to politely kick him out. Not that Rafael had ever been polite. 

He supposed the first step would be to get himself cleaned up, so he swung his legs to the floor. “I should…” he gestured vaguely at his lap when Rafael looked at him confused. It was a mistake because it just made Barba look at his softening dick, still inside the condom. “So, uh, bathroom?” he asked even though he’d seen the doorway earlier, and the apartment was small enough to figure it out if he hadn’t. 

Rafael just looked at him a second and then said, “Out and to the right.” 

“Great, thanks.” He walked out as quickly and with as much dignity as a naked man could, snatching his underwear off the floor as he went. 

Once in the bathroom he stripped of the condom and tossed it in the trash can. Then he put his underwear back on and washed his hands before splashing some water on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was loose, falling over his forehead, and his lips were swollen and obviously kiss-bruised. 

Barba was the one who’d kissed those lips and messed up his hair. It was Barba’s bathroom he was standing in, still mostly naked, having just fucked the man into oblivion. Was it only a few hours ago that he’d greeted him outside of the restaurant? It felt like forever ago now; so much had changed in such a short amount of time.

Barba was also in the room next door, probably wondering what Sonny was doing that was taking so long. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. 

Unlike Sonny, Rafael didn’t seem to feel any post-sex embarrassment about his body. He still lounged naked on the bed, the only difference being that he’d cleaned the come off of his stomach. His eyes had been closed, but they opened when Sonny came back in. 

“Everything okay?”

“Um, yeah.” Sonny looked around trying to do an inventory of his clothing, but he felt Barba’s eyes on him. When he glanced toward the bed, he saw that Rafael was once again looking at him like he’d done earlier, like he was mesmerized by the sight of Sonny. The heat rushed through him again. 

“If I would have known how much fun it was to make you turn red, I would have started doing it a long time ago,” Rafael said affably, then, “What are you doing?”

“Well, I just thought—You know, maybe—I think I should probably go, right?” It came out as unsure as he felt. 

“If that’s what you want, but I would like it if you stayed.” 

Sonny’s eyes shot up to meet Rafael’s, not an easy feat when the man was still laying there naked like a goddamn Greek god. “Really?” There were about a million reasons that he shouldn’t. Starting with the fact that he’d have to wear the same, probably now very wrinkled, suit to work tomorrow, and ending with the fact that spending the night made this a little bit more than just scratching an itch they’d each had for years. 

“Again, if you want to.” It was the first time the entire night that Rafael seemed unsure. There was that old adage of never ask a question you didn’t already know the answer to, and Sonny realized that this was a rare moment in which Rafael Barba had no idea what he would say or do. 

He supposed it meant something that Barba was willing to tell him what he wanted, even if he wasn’t sure if Sonny felt the same. 

“I do. Want to.” 

Rafael’s uncertain expression slid into a smile. “Well, you can sleep in the bed, you know. You don’t have to stand in the middle of the room all night.” 

“Oh, right.” Sonny realized he’d been standing in the same spot this entire time, he felt heat slide through him again, only this time from embarrassment. 

“You really have to stop doing that,” Rafael said wantonly when Sonny flushed pink. 

If Barba was turned on when Sonny was embarrassed or awkward, he was in luck, Sonny thought as Rafael pulled back the duvet for Sonny and then slid under it himself. 

He still wasn’t sure what the right step was here, so he just laid on his back, but soon enough, Rafael was pressed up against him, his skin against Sonny’s everywhere that it was possible, his head on his chest. Sonny felt himself relax a little. 

“So, when you were meeting me tonight did you expect dinner  _ and _ dessert?” He asked, and Sonny could feel the light scratch of his beard when he spoke. 

“Not in a million years,” Sonny laughed lightly, Barba’s humor cutting through the awkwardness. “But I’m really glad though.” 

“Me too.” Rafael pulled him even closer with the arm he had draped over him. 

“You know, you were right about something.”

“I’m right about a lot of things, you’ll have to be more specific.” The orgasm must have finally been wearing off if the snark was returning. Sonny would keep better track in the future of what the window was. And there would be more of this in the future, he was sure of it. 

“DC is a garbage city. Don’t move there.” 

Rafael laughed and Sonny felt it as much as he heard it. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” 


End file.
